Change in plans.

So I finally decided that I was going to just keep the title to the story I was going to submit and deal with it, but last minute another story I wrote caught my eye in my "writing" folder and I read through it. I had to hold back a couple tears and decided I would send that one instead. I like the title better, but other than that, I'm not too sure why I sent it instead. Hopefully it was a good decision. Only time will tell. I have been writing faithfully for my novel. Also today I started a memoir that deals with a certain time in my teenage years. I'm not sure if it will amount to anything more than a personal cleansing, I guess only time will tell. Taylor Swift's song, "Mean" got me going with it. I'm not even sure that it actually is relevant, except the word mean. Anyway, only time will tell if it's worth cleaning and sending.

In reading news, I recently finished the Ender's Game quartet for the second time. I sincerely love everything Orson Scott Card. It was his writing that really made me love Science Fiction and want to write it. I am going to re-read the Ender's Shadow quartet also, but first I am reading The Hunger Games Trilogy, by Suzanne Collins. It was recommended to me by a co-worker and is good so far.

I am sincerely happy right now to have the time to read and to write. Sometimes I don't think people understand that I need an open mind to write, or that reading will help me get a better understanding of how plot, character and form fit together. Well, it's time to pick up my book and a glass of wine. Night.

Problem of the day . . . of always

Titles. I can never figure out what to title stories. I always give things working titles so I remember what they are as I am writing them. However, working titles are simply cheesy and not thought out, and yet I rarely change the title once I'm done. So the question of the day, or possibly the century is this: how do you choose a title? I tried the obvious to solve my dilemma. I looked at books on my shelf and thought about why they are titled the way they are. Some obviously tell you what the book is about, some give the theme, some are simply one word, like Pastwatch (Orson Scott Card), others are long, like the short second life of bree tanner (Stephenie Meyer). How does an author choose? How do I choose? I want it to grab attention, because I admit to often choosing books based on title, cover, and referral so I expect others to do the same. Since no one has read my stuff before and it's a short story with no cover art, I need a killer title. On that note, if anyone reads this and has any idea at all about ways to choose titles, please comment. I am lightly begging. Thanks. Till next time.

. . . and then it hit me!

So I've mentioned that I have been working on a novel, recently I've come to realize that parts of it aren't flowing the way I want. I feel like it's too quick and things won't make sense to whomever may or may not someday read it because while the back story of my characters is in my heart (or wherever a writer keeps the soul of their characters) the reader won't understand their motivations. I have come up with a new idea (besides the obvious of editing it and adding more "now" material where necessary). I am going to include inserts or chapters of flashback setting up where life started and how relationships changed. Where it starts, in medias res, is perfect (I think), but with that (and I should have known this) I need to clue the reader into everything else. So here's to writing all of the inserts and the more difficult task of coherently inserting them into what I already have. After that and some careful expansion/editing on my part, the scarier and more challenging part will come: what to do with it. That, honestly, is probably still a while down the road. My goal: (and I can't believe I am sharing this with everyone who may or may not read this, but I would like you to hold me to it) Is to finish at least a rough cut of the (first?) novel by the end of the year and (maybe) have a clue where I need to go from there. Crazy.

Getting back in the swing of (some) things . . .

writing, to be exact, and everything that goes with it. Last night, after I blogged, I submitted a story that I wrote specifically for a literary magazine, 5x5. They have themes, which I always have a hard time with. Specifically, I have a hard time with taking things too literally, I think. However, I'll never get better if I don't try to, and who knows maybe they will like it. Anyway, I haven't ever read the magazine (yet - I do plan to subscribe to it soon) but they deal with concise fiction (under 500 words). I like writing short short stories because I like quick and dirty satisfaction (please don't read into that). I have submitted a few things to literary magazines that specialize in "flash" fiction; I have been rejected by all of these too. The last one stung a bit, because I love the story, Rob laughed at the story (a reaction of any nature to fiction from him is a compliment), and I am sure someone else out there will like it too. I just have to find the right someone.

I was thinking about my writing last night and my style and I realized a few things.
1. When I write about myself I often write in the third person. It allows me to disconnect from my feelings a bit. It makes what I say sound less whiney and makes me less vulnerable because I am not saying the words "me" or "I"
1a. With that said, some of what I write that seems fiction, is often quite real.
2. When I make truly make a plot up, I enjoy writing in first person. It helps me feel closer to my characters, becoming part of them in a weird, loving way.
3. Combining one and two means that I tend to blend non-fiction and fiction in such a way that sometimes I don't know how to categorize it.
4. My flash fiction can read like poetry because when I write something authentic, poetic devices flow from my fingers.
5. I should have been more self assured in college so I would have asked my writing professors more questions about the best places to publish and a whole other assortment of useful questions.
6. If I were more self assured, I would ask them now

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Speaking of college professors, I friended one of my favorites on facebook a while ago, James Whorton. He wrote a book titled Frankland, that I was made to read for another class at the college. I loved his class, Advanced Fiction Workshop and his book was pretty good too. Both taught me about character authenticity, a subject I feel very strongly about. He also has a new book coming out, that I just pre-ordered: Anglea Sloan . Anyway, I mention him here not because of college so much as his Facebook post about a call for submissions to a literary magazine that he helps edit. It seemed serendipitous since I had started to really get back into writing that very night. So that is something else I am working on in the next few weeks.

On another note, the word blog is not recognized in the Microsoft dictionary. I think it’s time someone update it. Oh wait, I can update my version!

It's time.

With the school year so close to being over, my brain has a bit of free space in it for creativity. The good news is, that should be true for a good long while, seeing that this was my third and final year of teaching High School Special Education. How I came to this job is a story in itself, shocking perhaps, interesting, maybe, but most definitely lacking in creativity. I always felt like I was swimming in the middle of the ocean with no shore in sight. I could see a raft, but every time I almost could reach it, a big wave would come and push it away again. Maybe that's just the way life goes, as a matter of fact it might be. Now that I am free from the brain numbing monotony that is Special Education paperwork, I am going to head back to the goal I first pondered in 8th grade -- getting something published/someone that doesn't personally know me reading and liking my work. So far, and I forgot to write about this as soon as the latest time happened, my writing has been rejected three times. Not a lot considering. I just keep trying to tell myself that my writing is fantastic, these people reading it are the crazy ones, and some day they will be sorry that they can't say my writing was published first with them. (Hey with a goal like this you need to have a little bit of conceit.

So back to writing daily, editing randomly, submitting more often that ever before, studying for the GRE, painstakingly waiting for a rejection, and putting myself out there. I will be updating more often and hopefully someday sharing some good news.

Camping

Oh you may think that camping has nothing to do with writing and if you think that it's ok, but you are WRONG! The relaxation associated with camping is out of this world, at least for me. I have run into a lot of people lately who I tell them Rob and I are going camping and they crinkle up there nose and give me a look like they are sorry my husband drags me along. But that is so very far from the truth. While Rob likes to camp, I am the one suggesting that we go camping and making the reservations! It's my thing, and has been since I was a very little girl. Yes, there is a little bit of set up, of course there are bugs, and yes we are outside all day and in just a tent at night. Rob and I have sprung for a pretty nice air mattress and we got a Coleman instant tent that is big enough to sleep 8! No, there are not 8 of us, but the mattress takes up one side, and the dogs do well at claiming the other. Anyway, once we are set up, there is a lot of down time. No TV or Internet to distract us from each other or the book we are reading. It allows time for our minds to wander, to stare at the campfire, and to be together without so many distractions. I love the hiking, fresh air, smell of campfire smoke, taste of food cooked over a campfire/charcoal --YUM! I like the freedom to not do my hair straight or have dirt on me (which is my trademark as soon as I set foot outdoors). AND . . . to top it all off when we get home, I will feel refreshed (for a little while anyway). I have seriously joked with Rob that I would spend my whole life camping if it were possible. It probably is not, but a girl can dream!

When we get back, my soul will be free and able to write. Until I get busy with teaching, Rob deploying, and other things that cramp life. Once summer hits, I will head up to home (where it will be significantly cooler) and camp some more! AND in turn free my mind to write some more.

I took my own advice.

After whining two days ago about not being published and being scared of sending stuff out. I sent a story that I love out to an online magazine that I recently found that blows my mind (in a good way); www.thediagram.com. I also wrote a 2584 word pre-teen/YA story based on a dream that I had last night. It's the second dream I have had in the past week that falls in the category of utterly original and interesting YA story. They were both so vivid. I love that even when I am asleep my mind is churning out new material for me. I began to write the other one, but it is not complete just yet. I also wrote a couple of poetic type pieces that are sure to offend, but I am excited about. The one is completely indistinguishable, unless of course you were there. Maybe I will be like Mark Twain and not allow some stuff I write to be published until 100 years after my death. That is unlikely. As long as I am dead, we shall be good, but then I will not be able to see my success, which I so desperately want. I have a lot of thoughts and a few things written down that are controversial. Some ideas I never even knew were controversial, like evolution. I never even thought that people didn't believe in it. Like maybe not all the way, or maybe they don't understand it, or maybe even be skeptical, but to just not believe at all, I had no idea. (So sorry if I offended, I really had no idea). On the positive side of offense, I did have a professor in college tell us in a Creative Writing 101 type class that if we can get a book on a banned book list we would be set because then everyone will want to read it to see why it was banned. So maybe I should be controversial. I guess I may be anyway.