I took my own advice.

After whining two days ago about not being published and being scared of sending stuff out. I sent a story that I love out to an online magazine that I recently found that blows my mind (in a good way); www.thediagram.com. I also wrote a 2584 word pre-teen/YA story based on a dream that I had last night. It's the second dream I have had in the past week that falls in the category of utterly original and interesting YA story. They were both so vivid. I love that even when I am asleep my mind is churning out new material for me. I began to write the other one, but it is not complete just yet. I also wrote a couple of poetic type pieces that are sure to offend, but I am excited about. The one is completely indistinguishable, unless of course you were there. Maybe I will be like Mark Twain and not allow some stuff I write to be published until 100 years after my death. That is unlikely. As long as I am dead, we shall be good, but then I will not be able to see my success, which I so desperately want. I have a lot of thoughts and a few things written down that are controversial. Some ideas I never even knew were controversial, like evolution. I never even thought that people didn't believe in it. Like maybe not all the way, or maybe they don't understand it, or maybe even be skeptical, but to just not believe at all, I had no idea. (So sorry if I offended, I really had no idea). On the positive side of offense, I did have a professor in college tell us in a Creative Writing 101 type class that if we can get a book on a banned book list we would be set because then everyone will want to read it to see why it was banned. So maybe I should be controversial. I guess I may be anyway.

Stories

When my fingers hit the keyboard often a story comes out that never crossed my mind before. Then the problems begin. My first problem is when to end a story, I sometimes try to tie it up into a neat little bow, concerned that my reader won't get the point. I guess if they don't get the point, then it's not a good story. My second problem is I write something, I think it's a great idea, then I'm scared to send it to the intended recipient or worse have no idea where to send it. I want to send out something good, that will surely get published. I know if I don't put myself out there I will never see anything I write in print, but I don't want to waste anyones time either. I guess I need to go back and fix my problems and stop whinning on here. Not that many people read it anyway.

"It's fear of being afraid that frightens me more than anything else."

The title quote is by Jerome Cady off of today's quote of the day from www.dictionary.com. The title quote also sums me and my attitude toward writing up perfectly. BUT, I am trying to work through that. So I have been searching for ways to break out of my writing shell. I have recently included another friend in my small group (now two) of readers to critique my work. They both are fantastic friends who I know have very different views and will be an awesome help to me. Also today I discovered a writing group in Savannah, called the Savannah Writer's Group (SWG). Fancy that. They meet the second and forth Tuesday of every month at 7pm at the Books a Million in Savannah. I am committing on my blog to attend April 12 at 7pm. I am afraid of being afraid, and I am afraid of first impressions because until I get to know people I am very quite and reserved. This gives the wrong impression of me because in reality I am a glass is half full type of girl.

Word of the day: kismet. My sentence: My kismet is to become a well known author. Thanks www.dictionary.com for another awesome word!

Internship

I just sent an email out to the editor of an online magazine looking for interns. It's an unpaid internship, BUT who cares! I would have the opportunity to learn about publishing from someone who has actually published something and maybe, just maybe have something that I have written in front of peoples eyes! We will see, I will keep this posted if anything interesting happens.

I also had a dream the other that was so vivid I started writing it down. When I started writing, it seemed more like a kids story than an adult fiction story, which is fine, but I just hadn't expected it. We'll see where that goes.

Overwhelmed

As the school year creeps to an end, I think more and more of my future career(?) goals. I feel like I am dreadfully behind in the grand scheme of things. The program I want to get into accepts less than 10% of it's applicants, most that are accepted had an undergrad GPA of 3.7 ( I had a 3.5) and got a 600 on the GRE (whatever that means). I went to the GRE website and found out they are changing the testing and scoring, so now I really don't know what score to aim for.

I also will need three letters of recommendation, preferably from college professors familiar with my writing skills. I am also freaking out about this because I have always been under the impression that I was not particularly memorable, and sadly have little faith that anyone would remember how I wrote if they even remembered me. Woe is me I suppose. My idea is maybe attend a couple of writer's conferences and be impressive and memorable. (?)

And the writing. I am trudging along on my story/novel; which I am still in love with, confused with, and frustrated by. At times it impresses me that I wrote it, but then I think maybe I have bad taste and am vain.

I guess for now I will just keep studying, keep writing, and keep the dream alive. Come summer I will sign up for the GRE and see how I do.

I wrote a poem.

I also found another free online lit mag that I like. Diagram: http://www.thediagram.com/ It too has quite a bit of poetry which is intriguing. It has stories which read like poems and poems like stories. I, at times, enjoyed reading the submission guidelines more than the stories themselves. I will look for another few possible places to submit tonight. The next few to look at on my list are: Lumina, Nervous Breakdown, 580 Split, Caketrain and Lifted Brow.


Word of the day: rubicund (adj) Inclining to redness; ruddy; red. www.dictionary.com
Like my dad's beard (before it was gray) was rubicund. (?) I often am awful at using newly learned words correctly in sentences. I have an even worse time deciding if other people (namely students) use newly learned words correctly. Ugh, I can't wait until I no longer live everyday in high school English classes.

I was going to add the quote of the day from www.dictionary.com but it was lame. A good song, but not worth it in my opinion.

I have not done very well on my goal this week. I wrote only 77 words today in my poem. Maybe I'm not done yet. However the rest of the week wasn't that great either. I will keep up my goal, I can still only go up.

Back to Writing

Teaching high school has burnt me out, making it impossible for my imagination to flow. At the end of the day, it's all I am able to do to make dinner and veg. BUT, this weekend my husband Rob and I went camping and it was completly cathartic. I came home with not only the need to write but the desire. I am starting slow, with a goal of 100 words per day. It's an easy goal, which means I should have no trouble meeting it and success leads to success(i hope).

I also had an idea to use a set of playing cards to write random prompts on them and then if I can't decide what to write, I could pull from the deck. I tried them out tonight, I got: "Make up a superhero"
So here it is:


Superhero: Edit-TOR
Powers: the uncanny ability to ALWAYS know when a writer needs someone to read their work and offer an honest critique and good advice
Appearance: Sophisticated black framed glasses, gray pants, button down shirt with sleeves rolled up and a loose tie. Face: chiseled, no facial hair, supple brown eyes, long lashes, soft lips. Body: lean and muscular like a Ken doll.
Can be found: libraries, book stores, book readings, signings, book clubs, writer’s workshops, a cabin by a pond
Side kick: Grammar-A-TOR (knows all grammar rules and how to correctly break them)
Mentor: Diction-know-OR (knowledgeable in ALL words, their meanings, synonyms and antonyms.




On one level I think it's super lame, but I wish he existed. I could really use him, and what writer couldn't?

I also have been looking up places to try and place my writing. While looking, I found an online lit mag, it is free to read and has great stuff in it. It's called La Petite Zine, site:
http://www.lapetitezine.org/index.htm Maybe someday they'll publish my stuff. It seems like a lot of poetry, but super engaging poetry. It almost makes me wish I could write poetry. Maybe my college professor made me feel like I was bad, to make me better. Maybe I'm not that bad of a poet. Maybe I should try? That question is for another day. Anyway, a lot of the writer's published on the site had previous publications in lit magazines and their own books. I guess everyone has to have their stuff published somewhere first. Right?

Word of the day: Bailiwick (noun) - a person's specific area of knowledge, authority, interest, skill, or work. www.dictionary.com