Getting back in the swing of (some) things . . .

writing, to be exact, and everything that goes with it. Last night, after I blogged, I submitted a story that I wrote specifically for a literary magazine, 5x5. They have themes, which I always have a hard time with. Specifically, I have a hard time with taking things too literally, I think. However, I'll never get better if I don't try to, and who knows maybe they will like it. Anyway, I haven't ever read the magazine (yet - I do plan to subscribe to it soon) but they deal with concise fiction (under 500 words). I like writing short short stories because I like quick and dirty satisfaction (please don't read into that). I have submitted a few things to literary magazines that specialize in "flash" fiction; I have been rejected by all of these too. The last one stung a bit, because I love the story, Rob laughed at the story (a reaction of any nature to fiction from him is a compliment), and I am sure someone else out there will like it too. I just have to find the right someone.

I was thinking about my writing last night and my style and I realized a few things.
1. When I write about myself I often write in the third person. It allows me to disconnect from my feelings a bit. It makes what I say sound less whiney and makes me less vulnerable because I am not saying the words "me" or "I"
1a. With that said, some of what I write that seems fiction, is often quite real.
2. When I make truly make a plot up, I enjoy writing in first person. It helps me feel closer to my characters, becoming part of them in a weird, loving way.
3. Combining one and two means that I tend to blend non-fiction and fiction in such a way that sometimes I don't know how to categorize it.
4. My flash fiction can read like poetry because when I write something authentic, poetic devices flow from my fingers.
5. I should have been more self assured in college so I would have asked my writing professors more questions about the best places to publish and a whole other assortment of useful questions.
6. If I were more self assured, I would ask them now

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Speaking of college professors, I friended one of my favorites on facebook a while ago, James Whorton. He wrote a book titled Frankland, that I was made to read for another class at the college. I loved his class, Advanced Fiction Workshop and his book was pretty good too. Both taught me about character authenticity, a subject I feel very strongly about. He also has a new book coming out, that I just pre-ordered: Anglea Sloan . Anyway, I mention him here not because of college so much as his Facebook post about a call for submissions to a literary magazine that he helps edit. It seemed serendipitous since I had started to really get back into writing that very night. So that is something else I am working on in the next few weeks.

On another note, the word blog is not recognized in the Microsoft dictionary. I think it’s time someone update it. Oh wait, I can update my version!

It's time.

With the school year so close to being over, my brain has a bit of free space in it for creativity. The good news is, that should be true for a good long while, seeing that this was my third and final year of teaching High School Special Education. How I came to this job is a story in itself, shocking perhaps, interesting, maybe, but most definitely lacking in creativity. I always felt like I was swimming in the middle of the ocean with no shore in sight. I could see a raft, but every time I almost could reach it, a big wave would come and push it away again. Maybe that's just the way life goes, as a matter of fact it might be. Now that I am free from the brain numbing monotony that is Special Education paperwork, I am going to head back to the goal I first pondered in 8th grade -- getting something published/someone that doesn't personally know me reading and liking my work. So far, and I forgot to write about this as soon as the latest time happened, my writing has been rejected three times. Not a lot considering. I just keep trying to tell myself that my writing is fantastic, these people reading it are the crazy ones, and some day they will be sorry that they can't say my writing was published first with them. (Hey with a goal like this you need to have a little bit of conceit.

So back to writing daily, editing randomly, submitting more often that ever before, studying for the GRE, painstakingly waiting for a rejection, and putting myself out there. I will be updating more often and hopefully someday sharing some good news.

Camping

Oh you may think that camping has nothing to do with writing and if you think that it's ok, but you are WRONG! The relaxation associated with camping is out of this world, at least for me. I have run into a lot of people lately who I tell them Rob and I are going camping and they crinkle up there nose and give me a look like they are sorry my husband drags me along. But that is so very far from the truth. While Rob likes to camp, I am the one suggesting that we go camping and making the reservations! It's my thing, and has been since I was a very little girl. Yes, there is a little bit of set up, of course there are bugs, and yes we are outside all day and in just a tent at night. Rob and I have sprung for a pretty nice air mattress and we got a Coleman instant tent that is big enough to sleep 8! No, there are not 8 of us, but the mattress takes up one side, and the dogs do well at claiming the other. Anyway, once we are set up, there is a lot of down time. No TV or Internet to distract us from each other or the book we are reading. It allows time for our minds to wander, to stare at the campfire, and to be together without so many distractions. I love the hiking, fresh air, smell of campfire smoke, taste of food cooked over a campfire/charcoal --YUM! I like the freedom to not do my hair straight or have dirt on me (which is my trademark as soon as I set foot outdoors). AND . . . to top it all off when we get home, I will feel refreshed (for a little while anyway). I have seriously joked with Rob that I would spend my whole life camping if it were possible. It probably is not, but a girl can dream!

When we get back, my soul will be free and able to write. Until I get busy with teaching, Rob deploying, and other things that cramp life. Once summer hits, I will head up to home (where it will be significantly cooler) and camp some more! AND in turn free my mind to write some more.

I took my own advice.

After whining two days ago about not being published and being scared of sending stuff out. I sent a story that I love out to an online magazine that I recently found that blows my mind (in a good way); www.thediagram.com. I also wrote a 2584 word pre-teen/YA story based on a dream that I had last night. It's the second dream I have had in the past week that falls in the category of utterly original and interesting YA story. They were both so vivid. I love that even when I am asleep my mind is churning out new material for me. I began to write the other one, but it is not complete just yet. I also wrote a couple of poetic type pieces that are sure to offend, but I am excited about. The one is completely indistinguishable, unless of course you were there. Maybe I will be like Mark Twain and not allow some stuff I write to be published until 100 years after my death. That is unlikely. As long as I am dead, we shall be good, but then I will not be able to see my success, which I so desperately want. I have a lot of thoughts and a few things written down that are controversial. Some ideas I never even knew were controversial, like evolution. I never even thought that people didn't believe in it. Like maybe not all the way, or maybe they don't understand it, or maybe even be skeptical, but to just not believe at all, I had no idea. (So sorry if I offended, I really had no idea). On the positive side of offense, I did have a professor in college tell us in a Creative Writing 101 type class that if we can get a book on a banned book list we would be set because then everyone will want to read it to see why it was banned. So maybe I should be controversial. I guess I may be anyway.

Stories

When my fingers hit the keyboard often a story comes out that never crossed my mind before. Then the problems begin. My first problem is when to end a story, I sometimes try to tie it up into a neat little bow, concerned that my reader won't get the point. I guess if they don't get the point, then it's not a good story. My second problem is I write something, I think it's a great idea, then I'm scared to send it to the intended recipient or worse have no idea where to send it. I want to send out something good, that will surely get published. I know if I don't put myself out there I will never see anything I write in print, but I don't want to waste anyones time either. I guess I need to go back and fix my problems and stop whinning on here. Not that many people read it anyway.

"It's fear of being afraid that frightens me more than anything else."

The title quote is by Jerome Cady off of today's quote of the day from www.dictionary.com. The title quote also sums me and my attitude toward writing up perfectly. BUT, I am trying to work through that. So I have been searching for ways to break out of my writing shell. I have recently included another friend in my small group (now two) of readers to critique my work. They both are fantastic friends who I know have very different views and will be an awesome help to me. Also today I discovered a writing group in Savannah, called the Savannah Writer's Group (SWG). Fancy that. They meet the second and forth Tuesday of every month at 7pm at the Books a Million in Savannah. I am committing on my blog to attend April 12 at 7pm. I am afraid of being afraid, and I am afraid of first impressions because until I get to know people I am very quite and reserved. This gives the wrong impression of me because in reality I am a glass is half full type of girl.

Word of the day: kismet. My sentence: My kismet is to become a well known author. Thanks www.dictionary.com for another awesome word!

Internship

I just sent an email out to the editor of an online magazine looking for interns. It's an unpaid internship, BUT who cares! I would have the opportunity to learn about publishing from someone who has actually published something and maybe, just maybe have something that I have written in front of peoples eyes! We will see, I will keep this posted if anything interesting happens.

I also had a dream the other that was so vivid I started writing it down. When I started writing, it seemed more like a kids story than an adult fiction story, which is fine, but I just hadn't expected it. We'll see where that goes.